Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My Thoughts on Girls and Dating

I’m pretty fed up with the opposite sex. I am in love with a girl who doesn’t want to be with me. And I can deal with that, in and of itself. What I can’t deal with is how arbitrary it is.

I have determined that girls don’t want to consider any serious dating (as in, dating with the hope of being together long term) until they are 23. Then they decide they are ready to settle down and find a husband, who must, inevitably, possess the very traits that would have made him an impossible candidate for dating prior to this turning point. This assessment is based not only on my personal experience with this subject, but on the first hand accounts of male friends, many of them past the age of 23, who all tell startlingly similar tales. So why is this, ladies?

Whatever the psychology behind it may be, I think it’s stupid, unproductive, and ultimately quite damaging. There comes a time to put away childish things. Our country prolongs adolescence to a point that challenges the natural order, with our present-as-ever hormones leading us to pursue the fulfillment of our desires through people who are not our spouses, and in all likelihood will never be.

I’m not down with this, world. I think I’m gonna go live in a cave for the next few years. I haven’t decided yet if it’s a metaphorical or literal cave. Either way, there’s a sign on the entrance that reads, “No Gurlz Aloud.”



  1. See I always thought this was a guy thing, from my experience when I was in my 20's. I think our culture is used to having so many choices for everything. So, when it comes to a spouse, alot of people think that maybe they shouldn't settle down. Maybe they should wait and see if something "better" comes along. And it seems that people have been getting married later. I was 26 and my husband was 21 when we were married. so, who knows?! Just thought you had an interesting post :)

  2. I'm sorry you think this :(
    Not all girls are like this, I promise! I had the same experience with a guy...I thought it was just a guy thing to never want to settle down. It's all in the timing I guess. I've kind of decided to let go and let God...
    Don't give up! Praying for you :)

  3. Im sorry that you have been forced to cave dwelling ways. I've been close to that recently, but actually my "cave" was going to be somewhere in Seattle.

    As far as us girls being so crazy- I know youre very right. But at the same time, I personally, hold to the philosophy that there isn't a lot of purpose behind 'casual dating.' I find it down right difficult to do. Going on multiple dates means I'm interested, and once that interest appears to be mutual (as could be demonstrated by the multiple dates) my heart becomes invested.

    In light of this fact, I say that if said candidate doesnt appear to be a potential lifer, then I wont go there. Not that being in a relationship means I'm signing a mairrage contract- but you wont find me dating multiple guys at once. The main consolation I have for you in my disertation is that I've held this philosophy since I was 15. I'm 21 now and am just on my 2nd ever relationship.

    I hope you can be encouraged and find a gal that cares about you- cause you deserve that.



  4. Whenever I write stuff like this I always feel like I want one person to give me one good reason why I am wrong. That is probably just me, but I just sort of feel like I have had this experience and I would like someone to reassure me that I am not totally right.(again this could just be me?)

    I think maybe, this isn't a gender thing, maybe this is a culture thing. I am going to spare you the details of my nonexistent love life but I want to say, that I have been taught that great things are worth waiting for.(and I am and will continue to wait) I think that people rush into relationships so often today, and they are not fully ready to commit to someone. As the the youngest of five kids I have personally watched each and everyone of my siblings jump into relationships they were not ready for. Ive done it too....more than once.

    I feel that people have an attitude today like they want to have their cake and eat it too. people want to be super rich, AND have a big close amazing family AND be a perfect spouse AND be really popular AND have a million hobbies and they want it right now, all at once. I am not saying that all those things are not unattainable, but they all require timing. if you tried to start a family without having a steady career, or without a spouse, it would be incredibly difficult to achieve all the other stuff. I guess what I am getting at, is timing, maybe God wants you to be single right now. Maybe he wants to do great things with you and make you an even more amazing person first before you begin your full life journey. Maybe God is not done preparing you for the great things he has is store for you.

    Being single is a gift. That is probably a weird statement to most, but I firmly believe it. People are in such a rush to get married or be in a relationship. You have the rest of your life to be committed to someone. I feel like I am coming off like "commitment is a terrible thing" and I so so do not want to sound that way! Marriage is definitely an awesome thing, but singleness can be too!

    alright I'm done ranting.....I have a weirdly strong opinion about this stuff so yeah. anyways I hope your lady troubles clear up.
    have a good day! =)

  5. I'm 19. This is not true for me. I love you friend. Praying for you always.

  6. I would encourage you not to peg 23+ yr gals in a category that is "prepared to date with purpose" aka long term commitment. Often when people, myself included, categorize people we limit our minds and become guarded out of FEAR, not WISDOM.

    There's no formula, no explanation of someone else feelings can be mustered up... I know of gals who married poor fellas at age 21 but God has blessed it. My parents started dating at 15 and were serious in high school!!And got married at 23 in order to finish school first. Every story is different and generalities can be dangerous...

    God keeps teaching me and showing me how to rest and trust in being single. There are so many freedoms! Traveling is a biggie! I've gone so many places that wouldn't have been possible if I was with who I was seriously dating 2 years ago...

    I always feel encouraged when I remind myself that I won't be single a day longer than God wants for me...Trusting in His timing definitely isn't easy though...

    Here are some of my thoughts on dating...