Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Number One Danger of Playing Outdoor Festivals: Bees.

In the year 2000, there were a massive outbreak in bee sting deaths: an astonishing 54 deaths out of 281 million (census data). "Why is this number so high?", you ask? That is because the an average person with no bee allergy can only tolerate 10 stings per pound of body weight. So, I would only have to be stung 1,450 times to die from a bee sting- a number I will not take lightly.

Some rumored home remedies for bee stings include: onions, toothpaste, and lemons. This is why if you are to going to an outdoor music festival, you should always come prepared with an emergency bee sting kit, which would include all of these items. I have gone one step further- I keep a necklace with onion rings and lemon slices on it so when a bee sees me wearing it, it thinks to itself, "Man, why would I sting this fellow, he has all the remedies he needs to fix himself. What a waste!" So far my plan has succeeded 100%.

Please keep yourself prepared. DO NOT be one of the 54.

-Nathan Wethy
Founder of "Do Not Be One of the 54 North American Division"

**This info packet is in memory of the bee that hassled Nate Dogg on stage at Sonfest 2011
***All statistics and facts courtesy of www.buzzaboutbees.net

No comments:

Post a Comment